Skeptics and True Believers
by TheAllTimeLow
Summary: OOC: When Jasper walks away from Alice, she is devistated. Little does she know that her heart broken journey to get back the one she loves will change her life forever. AxJ Rated M for future graphic lemony goodness.


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**Chapter One**

"No, no, no, no, no."

Her desperate pleas echoed blankly back into the girls ears, met with heartbreaking silence as she looked after the figure slowly disappearing into the distance. His body was a dark silhouette against the sunset he was walking into. How horrible. Sunsets were beautiful, peaceful, and enjoyable occurrences; often a daily phenomena that she adored to experience. She pondered briefly over the countless hours she had spent watching the sunset with that boy. How he would wrap his soft fingers around her own, filling the spaces in between her fingers like his had been specially designed to belong there. A warm smile would slip across his handsome features, and he would lean closer and closer towards her, until finally their faces held inches apart. She could feel his breathe on her skin. She could look deep into his eyes, past the overwhelmingly soft blue eyes. And she could see the love there. She could see it…

Then where was it? What happened to the love?

"Jasper? Jasper, please. Please come back…" Even to her own ears, her voice was nothing more than a whisper lost among the slowly fading light. And as the sun set, it left behind the warm colours of vibrant orange, pink, and red that danced mockingly through the last of the delicately drifting clouds, until the sky had settled into the deep midnight blue of night. And like the beauty of the day set, so too did the beauty of her life, as she watched the final piece of her heart, that boy… walk away.

"No, no, no, no, no."

I could see his beautiful face again. I swear, if I stretched my arm far enough I could reach out and stroke his delicate skin. My arms wouldn't reach, they wouldn't listen to me. My mind screamed at them relentlessly. But my body remained unresponsive. I began screaming, letting his name tear through my throat in a flood of desperation and fresh despair as he began to fade again. I could see the sunset, that same sunset. It was like losing him all over again. I could feel the tears start to spill over the edges of my eyes, but I couldn't feel them as they slid down my cheeks. My face was numb. My whole body was numb. The only thing I could do was scream. Scream his name, and cling to the vain hope that someway, somehow, he would come back to me.

_Jasper. Jasper. Jasper.__  
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"Alice! Alice, hunny, wake up!" My shoulders were being shaken with a gentle kind of urgency, the scene in front of my eyes slowly beginning to drift away as I regained consciousness. I groaned, shoving off the hands that held my shoulders. They let go immediately, and I took the opportunity to roll over and double over on myself. My fingernails dug into my sides while I squeezed my arms tighter and harder against my stomach, pulling my knees up as far as they would go, until I was a tiny compact ball. My short hair felt like a sticky mess. I could feel it clinging to my neck and my cheeks in wet stringy strands. The tears that had felt numb on my face before were suddenly spilling over, sliding across my cheeks and nose onto the bed sheets, which already felt something more than damp. "Alice? Oh, please don't do this… did you have another nightmare?" I didn't say anything, but on the inside I must have laughed bitterly, for I felt the resentment to her question wash through me.

What a stupid fucking question. No, I was screaming because I was having the best dream of my life.

"I'm sorry, that was a stupid question…" she murmured sadly, just barely loud enough that I was able to catch it. I sighed, the anger fading just as quickly as it had arose, left me feeling drained and more than emotionally exhausted. Though more than anything, I hated to hear the worry and sadness in her voice. It was okay for me to allow myself to suffer, but there was no way I wanted anyone else to have to endure it with me. I unlocked my arms from around myself, rolling until I was sitting upright and facing her. "I'm sorry, Jane." I wrapped my arms around her, glad that she was as petit as I was. If she had been what we referred to as 'The Dogs', broad shouldered and at least three feet taller than any normal human being should be, I wouldn't have been able to. It made it even worse that we were the 'fun sized' girls on campus. In terms a little more mature, we were short and they were freakishly tall. In fact, we were the only vertically challenged kids in the entire school. Jane's brother, Alec, who is roughly around the same height, used to attend, but had to drop out due to severe bullying by The Dogs. This was one of many reasons why we hated them so relentlessly.

Jane hugged me back, squeezing me tightly. "No need to be sorry," I opened my mouth to contradict, but she continued quickly. "Don't even. It's not your fault; you can't help feeling the way you do… I understand you're hurting, and I don't blame you if sometimes you take it out on me."

_All the time I take it out on you._

She frowned, her tiny eyebrows narrowing and scrunching her face into a surprisingly fierce expression. "If you're thinking what I think you are, then you're wrong. And even if you did, I don't care. I'm your friend, your best friend, and that's what I'm here for. I want to be here for you, to help you through what that prick did to you." I flinched, my eyes shooting down to my lap as a staggering amount of conflicting emotions gripped my heart. "Don't call him that…" I mumbled. "Sorry." She sighed, sympathy an undertone to her sincerity. "I don't understand how you can still-"

"I know," I cut her off before she could say it out loud. How could I still _love him_.

I didn't know. But it was obvious I still did.

I'm sorry. I just don't understand, after all he's done…" I flinched again, preparing myself for one of her J-Rambles. Where everything she thinks on the subject tumbles out of her, and it's almost like she is the only one in the room. This is probably the reason why no one tells her secrets, and also why she doesn't have any of her own. I couldn't blame her though. I don't think she realized when she was doing it. "I mean, after four years, and suddenly he just decides he's not 'good for you'. What the hell is that supposed to mean? Does he mean he's a bad influence, or that your chemistry is poor? Honestly, neither of which make sense. I saw you two together, and wow, even I have to admit I was jealous a few times. You two were perfect." I felt a sharp stab of pain at the use of pass tense. _Were_. "And there is no way he could be a bad influence. I've seen that kids grades, and they're as close to perfect as anyone could get. I mean, he's studying to be a veterinarian! And I've never seen that boy touch a drop of alcohol, or even miss a day of class, unless he was sick, but magically he'd have all the work done anyways. Jasper Whitlock is italictheitalic farthest thing from a bad influence that I can think of. So, if it's neither of those things, then what is it…" and just like any other ending to her J-Ramble, she trailed off and spaced out as her thoughts wandered inside her head…

_Where they should stay._

If I said her summary of Jasper was wrong, I would have been lying. And if I said it was easy to just sit there and let her ramble on about him, I definitely would be lying. During the few minutes it had taken her to spill, my eyes had become damp again, and I was blinking furiously to keep the threatening tears from falling. The last thing I wanted was for Jane to know just how much her words affected me. It was all that, and the little things that made me still love him. It was the fact that he was perfect. That I didn't have a reason _not_ to love him, besides that he walked away. And even then, my mind and my heart rejected that knowledge. Countless times I had lied to myself, my heart leading my mind to believe that we weren't really over. We still went to the same school, we still attend most of the same classes together, we still had the same friends, and still lived in the same dorms, with our same roommates. How could things be so different, when it seemed like nothing had changed?

Before I had a chance to let my mind wander to more painful conclusions, Jane came out of her five-minute-J-Ramble-reverie.

"So what do you want to do, it's the weekend, and you're still in bed. Where you've been for the past three weeks!" I stared at her blankly. "That's not true…" I argued half-heartedly. "I've been out for classes." Jane scoffed at me. "That's not 'out'. Out is going to the campus bar and having a few drinks with me, or driving into town to scout for boys at that fancy club. Attending boring classes is not considered going out." She finished by crossing her arms over her tiny torso, and huffing. Despite my best sulky efforts, a smile lifted the corners of my lips and I couldn't help but laugh at her stubborn and childish attitude. It would have been perfect, if only she had stomped her foot.

"So…?" She pressed, trailing off to make it into a question.

I bit down on my lip; a habit I had gotten into since Jasper had left, and Jane had been trying to get me to stop for weeks now. Like normal, she frowned and swatted at my face lightly. I removed my teeth from my lower lip, and she made an approving noise before settling back to wait on my answer.

Did I want to go out?

No, that wasn't the right question.

Was I _ready_ to go out?

Was I? Did I really want to go to some bar, or some club to hunt for boys? One thing I knew for sure was if we went looking, we were sure to find them. Good attention, and bad attention. I stopped to weigh the pros and cons. Pro; it would mean I could get out of the house, maybe lead to the beginning of my long road back to an almost normal life. Which brought up the question; did I want that life back? When Jasper had first walked away that night, I had considered dropping out of college all together, afraid of even seeing him move on. I didn't want to see him be happy with another girl, unless that girl was me. In the end, Jane had convinced me, or more like guilt tripped me, into staying and continuing my studies. Though in the end, I'm sure it was my ridiculous hope that he'd come back and my unreasonable need to see his beautiful face, which kept me from leaving.

Con; we were sure to run into The Dogs. I frowned. This was definitely something I would rather avoid at all costs. The Dogs were a small close-knit pack of boys who made up the entire defensive line of the college football team. They were big, arrogant jocks, who liked to consider themselves the leaders of the school just because every Friday they get to put on a helmet and that ridiculous uniform, and go prance around a field throwing a ball to get it from one end of a field to the other, while man-handling each other. I'm not sure what goes through a football player's head, but to me, that seemed pretty gay. They wear tights for fuck sakes! Oh yes, very manly-men. Yet somehow these facts always seem to go right over people's heads, and they respect, and put up with their ignorant and obnoxious behaviour on, and off campus. The worst of them all was the quarterback. His name was Edward Cullen, and people treated him like he was the next Jesus. Stereotypical good looks and the leader of the popular click, I'd seen more girls chase after him than a puppy goes after it's own tail.

And the worst part?

Edward was best friends with Jasper. _**My**_ Jasper.

I sighed, deciding not to think about that. They had been friends since preschool, and when Jasper and I had been dating, the pig-attitude had been all but non-existent. But now that that had ended, Edward took every chance he could acquire to make fun of me in any way he could. His remarks were often sexual and directed towards my size, and usually accompanied by the same almost forced-sounding laughter from his gaggle of jock followers. Thankfully though, and much to my surprise, he never made any remarks about Jasper. It made me wonder what his intentions were. If he wanted to hurt me that was the guaranteed way to do it. But he hadn't. So then what _did_ he want?

A loud "Ahem" brought me back to reality, and I quickly realized I had been lost in my thoughts for nearly ten minutes now. Jane was staring at me with an impatient look on her face, and to be honest, I was surprised she had stayed quiet this long.

"So what's your answer?" She asked, her question made blunt by her annoyance. It took a surprising amount of effort to keep myself from laughing. It usually amused me when Jane got angry, which more often than not, made things worse when I laughed. I cleared my throat, swallowing my laughter.

I hesitated.

"Okay… let's go out."

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_Disclaimer: I think it's fairly obvious that I don't own, nor claim to own, anything related to Twilight._

**A/N: Rated M for future lemony goodness, I promise. Reviews are the best way to keep me writing and inspired. Much apologies on my behalf if I update slow. I tend to get caught up in my personal life, and often lose track of what needs another chapter. Thank you to all my wonderful patient readers.**


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